You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:

• Is jealous or possessive. Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships
• Attempts to control you by being demanding or bossy
• Attempts to isolate you from friends and family
• Is violent or loses temper quickly
• Pressures you sexually or demands sexual activities which make you uncomfortable
• Abuses drugs and/or alcohol
• Claims you are responsible for his/her emotional state
• Blames you when he/she mistreats you and fails to own their part
• Family and friends have voiced concerns over the relationship
• You have attempted to end the relationship but have failed
• He/she constantly keeps track of your time
• Accuses you of being unfaithful of of flirting
• Constantly critisizes or belittles you

Abusers are not always abusive and part of the thrill is that there are times which are incredibly happy and exciting but they become increasingly more short-lived over time and your partner changes in the blink of an eye into someone else you don't recognize. The change is so dramatic that it is often difficult to assimilate the two different personas as being one in the same person. Abuse is about control and fear is the way in which they impose control.

Abusive relationships whether physical, verbal and/or sexual only escalate over time. Women who are abused often think they can control their partner by being more compliant or by keeping him happy. Abuse extends far deeper than that and if you find yourself in an abusive situation, seek help. The most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she attempts to leave. You need to have a plan in place especially if children are involved.

Copyright © The author, 2011. Please note this article is not to be copied or re-distributed without the consent of the author Jean-Marie Olwage and remains the property of the author. Information contained within the articles are not meant to replace professional counselling and the information provided is merely meant to serve as a general guideline.